“There is some kind of a sweet innocence in being human – in not having to be just happy or just sad – in the nature of being able to be both broken and whole at the same time.” — C. Joybell. C
I have painted a few faces now. Craziness, pain, sadness, hope…I have been wanting to paint a happy face for a while but I couldn’t. I thought I wasn’t ready for it.
I had been thinking, reaching out and looking to capture the feeling of happiness. Until I stopped and just being. Being at this moment. Being present. Being “now”. And there it is. The happiness. Shining, vivid in bright pink and yellow. In every tiny moment I am living.
I learnt to pack away my yesterdays. They grew into part of me, my sweetness, my wisdom and strength;
Those about to come will always come. Places it will take me to, people I am about to meet and love… I am not worrying or scared. They will all arrive, one by one, as little parcels of surprises.
I live right at this moment. Every moment. Truly. With purpose and intention.
I am not perfect, so I show up in every moment with all I have. Little by little, I become better. I no longer live any moment in the shame of my imperfection. I am me. I wear my weakness as a badge to be better. And I appreciate the ones waiting and guiding me through these moments and never lost their faith.
Even in the moment of sadness. I open to feel it, fully. Then, I let it go. Sadness is no longer scary. What scared me was my fear of feeling hurt. Now I know pain is part of life . It scares some and teaches others. It will not hold me down.
Right at this moment. When I am writing to you and to myself. I feel happy and I feel whole. I remember Denis Waitley once said “Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.”